Monday, April 9, 2012

ICSA Resources

For anyone you know who may have been in a cult, really religious organization, or isn't socialized into American culture (i.e. taxes, boundaries, finances):

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Something I ran across...

I find this incredibly interesting, and while deprogramming is questionable, I definitely think that sometimes, it is for the betterment of some individuals to be taken out.  I however do not like the need to find/ be religious post-cult.  I, myself, am not religious and I think I'm pretty sane after my cult experience.  I know it was more than an experience, at the time it was my life, but the most positive way to look at it is as an "experience" meaning it could be good or bad (mostly the latter), but that it doesn't make up me and who I am.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Martha Marcy Mae Marlene

You have to watch this, I'm so excited to see it when it comes to video come Feb. 12th!

It's a psychological thriller, in which a girl leaves a cult that she's been in and it is set the first two weeks after she leaves. She goes through so much psychological fear and paranoia. Ain't that what leaving a cult is? Although, the preview makes it a little more...psychotic than everyones' experiences...

It stars Elizabeth Olsen, younger sister of the Olsen twins and I seemed hesitant when I saw her name, but then I saw her acting and wow!  I also saw a clip of her on Jimmy Kimmel and she's this happy go-lucky personality with incredible intelligence.  WILL WATCH FOR A VERY LONG TIME, I think she's going to be big, like Oscar big, not ripped and torn apart big by Hollywood.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Lisa McPherson and Scientology's spin

Lisa McPherson was basically left to die by the "Church of Scientology" in 1995.

"On December 5, 1995, Lisa McPherson was dead on arrival at a hospital 45 minutes north of Clearwater Florida. According to the coroner's report,Lisa was underweight, severely dehydrated, and had bruises and bug bites.  Scientologists chose to pass three hospitals en route to New Port Richey Hospital, where Scientologist Dr. David Minkoff was on duty. They could have gone to Morton Plant Hospital, only six minutes away.
Lisa's last address was listed by the police as 210 S. Ft. Harrison in Clearwater Florida, which is the Fort Harrison Hotel, a Scientology property. Lisa had been a Scientologist from the age of 18 to her death at age 36.
"On November 18, 1995, Lisa was involved in a minor car accident. She was apparently not hurt, but she got out of her car and took all her clothes off and seemed mentally unstable. She was taken to a hospital where she was physically evaluated as being unharmed, but the hospital wanted her to be psychologically cared for. However, some Scientologists arrived and stated that Lisa did not believe in psychiatry, and she checked out after a short evaluation and left with the Scientologists against the attending doctor's advice. She went with them to Room 174 of the Ft. Harrison Hotel for "rest and relaxation" according to the church, but church logs from Lisa's stay there  from November 18 to her death December 5 show differently. Lisa was put on the Introspection Rundown that Scientology uses to handle those who have had a psychotic break. Some logs are missing, and a high ranking ex-Scientologist has written an affidavit in which he claims that the church has in the past destroyed documents that might get the church in trouble. Marty Rathbun, a former high-ranking Scientologist, revealed that he was responsible for the missing records;

On June 12, 2000 the criminal charges were dropped against Scientology because (so the prosecutor claims) the medical examiner could not be counted on to confidently testify, even though the criminal charges were abuse of a disabled person and practicing medicine without a license.  You can read much of the Clearwater police department's evidence and Scientology's  logs of Lisa's stay, view some of the autopsy photos, and decide for yourself. Then ask why Scientology now makes members sign a waiver specifically against suing Scientology over the Introspection Rundown:"

Here is a video which is gives a run down of what happened to her and with photos, so be careful if there are any kids around.

Lisa McPherson video
Uploaded by on Feb 11, 2009 

The spin that scientology uses sounds a lot like my cult. Many cults use the same sound bites and tactics, but scientology looks a lot more black tie and with people who are great orators (David Miscavige is the current leader).  They use the same tactics "the media is bad and out to get us", "the leaders in such and such city are against us" and "the government had to pay for their illegal case against us" and just lies and spins, here is their celebratory speech about Lisa's case (with commentary):

The video is not mine and was uploaded by on Feb 8, 2008.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

I want to post all of these new things happening with the cult I was in, but I also don't want to give up too much information, due to family and friends mentioned in the blog.  There's so much legal stuff going down with money and lawyers being insane.  That's the most I can say.  My friend was in the cult with me and has been getting emails about it all, along with me.  There's this great thing on google mail, where you can get email alerts if there's a keyword in a news article or legal document.  I suggest putting in your cult leader's names or other keywords if you want to keep up with it in the legal or journalistic sense.  

Thursday, November 24, 2011


A poem that describes how cult members feel, yes it's for stockholm syndrome, but it works for abuse too.
Below it is a poem that my sister wrote.

Horribly Beautiful (Stockholm Syndrome) 
Your obsession
Turns into possession
Paying too much attention
To me

My emotions
Are the bullets in your gun
Your potion
Is the poison of my love

You take me
Away from all that's real
You break me
You don't know that I can't feel

My sorrow
You borrow
For the weapon you will make
Or today
I don't know
What to say
I'm afraid

It's so horrible
But so beautiful
It's a wonder
And I ponder
Why…do I…?
It's so terrible
It's so…horribly beautiful!

You stole my soul
Now you're taking my heart
Leaving a gaping hole
Where you tore me apart

My feelings
Are the blades of knives
The killings
Are something that you like

But I understand you now
Although I really don't know how
But I fell
Fell into a well
Of the many tears I've spilled
Not for all the people that you've killed
But for you…

My emotions!
Are the bullets of this art!
Your potion!
Is the poison of my heart!

It's so horrible
But so beautiful
It's a wonder
And I ponder
Why…do I…love you?…
It's so terrible
It's so…horribly beautiful
Horribly beautiful
Horribly beautiful!
Poem by xBL.ind.KilljoyX

“There Is”

There’s a feeling of fear,
Of hopelessness,
Of drear,

There’s a feeling of pain,
Of frustration,
Of drain,

There’s a feeling of anger,
Of madness,
Of danger,

There’s a feeling of loneliness,
Of sadness,
Of useless,

There’s a feeling of flight,
Of sleep,
Of no might,

There’s a feeling of trying,
Of failing,
Of crying,

There’s a feeling of maybe,
Of hope,
Of “save me”,

There’s a feeling of okay,
Of relax,
Of one day,

There’s a feeling of hope,
Of resurrection,
Of cope,

There’s a feeling of light,
Of courage,
Of might,

There’s a drop,

There’s a what?
It’s back?
A cut,

There’s a return,
To the usual,
To the burn,

There’s crazy,

There’s a cycle,

There’s freedom?
I’m not dumb,

There’s the cult,
It still exists,
That’s the insult.

Poem by YƤel*

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Holy wow, huge story done by the Milwaukee Sentinel on a cult in the U.S. in a rural town in Wisconsin.  I wish there were more or bigger stories like this: